Art and Motherhood
When it comes to household responsibilities, women perform far more cognitive and emotional labour than men.
- Melissa Hogenboom writing on mental load for the BBC Worklife series
This January, I participated in a 21 day Instagram challenge hosted by the lovely Tara Leaver of the Happy Artist Studio in the UK. One post prompt was “turning point.” I wrote about deciding to focus on my art after years of neglect while I was intensely parenting littles. This post garnered a surprising amount of attention (for my little feed). One comment was an invitation to take part in the Mother (load) group show at the Lake Country Art Gallery.
“It is a matter of time and focus, and any artist who is also a mother is in short supply of these two essential ingredients. Who are the artists making it to all the evening gallery openings and artist talks? The meeting and greeting? Who are the artists with studio spaces separate from their homes and stuffed full of work? Who are the artists with mentors? Someone who looks like them? Where is the shop talk taking place? The evolving artistic dialogue is not happening at the family dinner table or in bed before storytime.”
”Thank goodness (goddess?) for the progressive thinking of those mothers and artists who are able to find a way to create and be visible in the art scene by bending the social strictures, shattering outdated myths, finding loopholes and forging new paths.”
Writes Bree Apperley is a Canadian mother, artist, designer and writer based in Syilx territory (Okanagan, B.C.).
Raveling Unraveling I and II
Cotton Yarn and Mixed Media
Using the dishcloth as a symbol of domestic work, I wanted to portray the feeling of constantly trying to tie things together as a mom (even as every component seems to be bent on unraveling and you have to adapt to new threads, holes, and unexpected parts to the plan). Mothers are incredibly resourceful and will use whatever materials or skills they possess to keep their household running. They will naturally sacrifice for their children, often at great expense to their own health and wellbeing.
What a nerve this topic hit. Here we are mothers with creative passions that are absorbed by the daily tasks of child rearing. Our creativity doesn’t die but squeezes out in the in between spaces and is redirected into activities designed for our kids. (I did a lot of gardening, sewing, crafts and creative cooking in the little years of my family.) Through it all I kept my own studio practice, albeit in fits and starts. But I rarely took time to pursue exhibition opportunities. One lucky year, I was able to work on a collaborative exhibition, and my children were visibly distressed when a local biologist picked me up for a research hike in preparation for the show. This, because I so seldom left them, they couldn’t process why their mother was getting into a truck with a stranger!
Mixed and Unmatched
Mixed Media
Kindergarten workbooks have pages where a child can draw a line between matching pairs of socks. Is this preparation for adult tasks? Or maybe it's to encourage kids to keep their socks on (they are constantly liberating their feet from all constraints). Our drawer of single socks is a symbol of the litany of partially completed tasks that threaten to overwhelm my creative energy as a mom. It’s part of a long list of mundane chores that can’t be allowed to steal too much attention if I want to get anything important done.
There are so many things I could say about motherhood and making time (or not) for art or any other passion you might have.
I didn’t understand that my creativity was alive and well even when I didn’t take time to be in the studio.
I heard a lot of negative messages about keeping my priorities straight once I was a mother.
I didn’t understand that motherhood didn’t mean I had to let go of the things that bring me joy.
There seems to be unnecessarily harsh judgements on mothers - often perpetuated by other mothers. So much added guilt, when the vast majority of us would unquestionably give our right arm for our kids.
After I gave birth to my first born, I wondered why there were not monuments to women everywhere similar to celebrated war heroes.
Neverending Snack Cycle
Mixed Media
No matter what age your children are, having a family means constantly thinking about, shopping for, and cooking up what you are going to feed them. When my children were young I wanted to make them healthy food so I made orange pumpkin, banana spinach, and chocolate beet muffins often. Even in more egalitarian relationships, the mental load of responsibility for childrens’ health is a documented stress which falls unequally on mothers. Separating ourselves from these roles as a definition of our worth as mothers and sharing the mental load is essential if we want to have energy for our creative life.
From my official statement for the Mother(load):
The feeling of being pulled in many directions is the plight of mothers in all professions. Mothers who are artists face the added criticism that art is seen as worthless, and a particularly selfish pursuit in capitalist North American culture. We seem to be one of the few places in the world that belligerently underestimates the benefits of creativity. Resisting these narratives is somehow specifically threatening to people who are invested in preserving the role of women as human givers to their families and greater culture. Mothers regularly live with constant guilt that pursuing their own talents or goals is in direct opposition to the wellbeing of their children. And yet, pushing back on this narrative reveals that art is indeed an expansive force for healing, for creativity, for joy, and connection with others. A world exemplifying these positive forces is indeed the world we want for our children and just as importantly, ourselves.
Some of the artists from this fabulous exhibition (yours truly in red in the centre).
The Mother(load) show is one to process. There are many artists involved with a vast array of compelling and challenging works from paintings to sculptures to photography and film. Along with each work, the artist's stories are equally impactful. It’s on until April 30th at the Lake Country Art Gallery.