Reflections on 2020. Saved by creativity in this unparalleled year.
2020
In the interest of my own wellbeing, some reflection on this unique year in history seems essential to a healthy outlook on 2021. With this in mind, I’ve spent the past week reflecting on the good and bad of 2020 and my personal experiences within it.
The preparation for my year started November 2019, when I woke one night struck with grief that I had not kept track of any of my work over the past 12 years while I’d been having children. Doubly impactful was the realization that I had done this once before, having lost all the slides of my art portfolio as a young artist. What was the pattern here? Why had I lost something so significant to myself - TWICE.
The answer hit me in the middle of that night in November, that I had not taken time to value my creativity and therefore didn’t value myself. As a dutiful wife, mother, teacher, friend, I had spent my time and energy on other people’s needs, not understanding that care and management of my own talents was equally important.
And so at the beginning of 2020, I made a commitment to prioritize my creative life and with it myself.
I realized that a good majority of the paintings I had sold in the past years were to people I knew. So I made a list, contacted everyone and went around photographing all my work. I collected all the digital images and began editing them for a website portfolio. A collected portfolio was essential for the pursuit of my future goals which included a potential masters program, submitting to galleries, and developing a systematic process to sell my art. Bigger than this, a portfolio was symbolic of the value I placed on myself and my art. Accomplishing this personal goal meant I was affirming my own worth beyond my roles of doing things for others.
Exploring a theme of bringing light to dark times through creativity. Here I am cutting up some abstract backgrounds and collecting my own photographs of winter berries.
It took two months to collect photographs of all my artwork between my two jobs, homeschooling my kids, and the various volunteer roles I have. I had barely completed this first step when the pandemic hit the world.
My family isolated at home for two months like so many others and the most amazing thing happened. I had time for creativity. I cleaned out my art studio. I took art classes online. I experimented with art supplies I hadn’t touched in years. I created art just because it was fun.
Being stuck at home meant we were all connecting online and I saw the same thing everywhere. Friends were getting out their paints and cameras. People were writing poetry and picking up new creative hobbies. People were using art to protect their mental health in a stressful time, to speak hope into fear and frustration, to experience joy in the midst of the mess of 2020.
Drawing and painting with mixed media on top of abstract works using winter berry photographs for inspiration.
As I have reflected this week over my year, I can see how creativity was saving me. It helped me deal with frustrations and the stress of this pandemic. But more than this, creativity allowed me to thrive in the middle of this chaotic time. Turns out creativity was doing this for a lot of us.
I did indeed complete a website portfolio. I worked on a public mural in my town. I opened an Etsy store. I connected with other creatives. I taught art workshops to share my creative process with others. I got some meaningful commission work. I sold more artwork than any of the previous several years.
Mixed media creative exploration creating light over a dark background with winter berries.
It’s not an exaggeration to say it’s been a stressful year for people worldwide. My own family moved during this pandemic, I quit a job, and have been a part of a number of failed initiatives. There has been a consistent theme of letting go of expectations and of grieving things lost. 2020 tried to take us all out. But when I look back at my year, I can see the thread of creativity pulling me through.
Sharing creativity with others at art workshops exploring the theme of creating light in dark times.
More than ever, I am grateful for the gift of creativity, for the ability to make beauty in the midst of disorder. Honouring my creativity has made this disastrous year one of my best yet. And so, with creativity by my side, I am actually in hopeful anticipation of 2021.
Maybe you’re hopeful about 2021 or feeling the slog as 2020’s problems continue on. What has helped you make it through this past year?